Yet to Wake Up

America runs on two things: OIL and COFFEE.

Being a bunch of indolent fools, shown by the increase in the number of alleged illegal immigrants that they depend on for everything, the (Americans) support a war-mongering president for something that needs to be drilled and go to stores for the one that needs to be brewed.

In spite of guzzling millions of tons of both entities, the Americans still have yet to wake up.

Agenda for tomorrow: Stop going to war for coffee and store for the oil.

State of Denial

Bush is like a driver who looks in the side view mirror (Clinton) before making a turn, completely ignoring the car (Al-Qaeda) in the blindspot (info provided by CIA) and before he makes the car out, its too late. His car (America) has already been hit, but he doesn't take the responsibility for the accident saying its the side view mirror's fault. If only he would have looked over his shoulder (the report on his desk before 9/11), the world would have been a different place.

Agenda for tomorrow: Ask Rice to read Bob Woodward's book, "State of Denial," and keep rejecting every assertion made in the book.

Invading Idol

To Vote for Invading IRAQ - Dial 1-NUKE-IRAQ
To Vote for Invading KOREA - Dial 2-NUKE-KOREA
To Vote for Invading CUBA - Dial 3-NUKE-CUBA
To Vote for Invading IRAN - Dial 4-NUKE-IRAN

Latest Report: Ignore the first one, Already Invaded...

Agenda for tomorrow: Twins' Birthday. Buy Halliburton Co. stocks as birthday present.

"Warning" of the Globe

Recently a reporter wanted the President to express his views on the Warming of the Globe. The President replied, "Leaders around the globe gave a warning to Iraq to surrender the weapons of mass destruction, but to no avail, so we were left with no choice but to invade the country."

The President was later told that the reporter was asking about the Warming of the Globe, and not the warning of the globe.

Agenda for tomorrow: Pay Attention. Turn down the volume of the ear-piece playing the Texas Ranger's game while talking to reporters. Also, do not use the Bose QuietComfort 2 Noice Cancelling Headphones.

Weapons of Mass Imitation

Agenda for tomorrow: Is the chimp imitating me or am I imitating the chimp?

P.S. Ask Karl and/or Dick, if affirmative... bomb the country the Chimp lives in...

Chimp

Agenda for tomorrow: Find out about the chimp?